oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
