I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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