also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
