If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
