You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
