u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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