Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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