i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
