But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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