So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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