I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
