I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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