It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
