I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
