I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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