I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize