oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
