i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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