I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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