I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
