i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
