loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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