McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
