You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
