I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
