Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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