You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize