like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
