Grow some girl-balls and come out already
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
