I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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