i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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