i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
