Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
