Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
