Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
