And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
