I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize