he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
