I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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