Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
