my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
