ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
