you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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