I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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