I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You ruined the universe
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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