btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
