Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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