arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
