So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
