Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
where are you?
Hypothermia
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
