Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
