I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
