are you still at the devil's house?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize