she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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