Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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