i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
