I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize