Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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