I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
