Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
