dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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