matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
