Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize