I wish I could punch you in the face.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We're too hungover to prance.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
