I hate all girls vehemently.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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