I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
